“All the significant battles are waged within self. Think about it. “Before anything materializes in your life, it generally happens on the inside of you.”
Our insecurities come from the inside and often manifest themselves on the outside, perhaps in wariness or aggression, in hearsay/babble or pride. We heard someone once say that talent is God – given, so be humble, fame is man – given, be thankful, conceit is self – given, be careful.
Success is a battle fought on the inside of a man or a woman before it ever is an outside battle. What are some of the battles that wage within us? The battle not to quit, the battle not to view yourself as a mistake or a failure, the battle not to muse on our circumstances, not to blame others or be full of pride, the battle of loneliness; you and I have to enjoy our own company before we will ever enjoy anybody else’s company.
Success in your life is a mindset. You can be successful in the middle of pain.
The Challenge: What can you do to make sure you win the battle? 1st, understand that there is a battle. 2nd, get advice from people who have won battles in their lives. If you’re struggling in business and don’t know why, go and talk to someone who has some wins and some losses and find out how they came through. 3rd, don’t look for quick fixes to problems, especially long term problems. Be genuine and honest with things in your life. Wear a sign around your neck that say ‘Be patient, I am under construction’. Wear it so others can see it, but also realize the same is true for others. Understand that your life is constantly under construction.
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Achieving high-level success requires the support and the cooperation of others. And gaining this support and cooperation of others requires leadership ability.
Four leadership rules or principles that can cause others to do things for us in the executive suite, in business, in social clubs, in the home, anywhere we find people:
1. Trade minds with the people you want to influence. Is a magic way to get others – friends, associates, customers, and employees – to act the way you want them to act. To get others to do what you want them to do, you must see things through their eyes. When you trade minds, the secret of how to influence other people effectively shows up (ex. one political candidate for a national office apparently fully as qualified as his opponent lost by a tremendous margin for one single reason. He used a vocabulary that only a small percentage of voters could understand.)Keep this question in mind: “What would I think of this if I exchanged places with the other persons?” Thinking of the interests of the people we want to influence is an excellent thought rule in every situation.
Put the trading minds principle to work for you:
Consider the other person’s situation. Put yourself in his shoes so to speak. Remember, his interests, income, intelligence, and background may differ considerably from yours.
Now ask yourself. “If I were in his situation, how would I react to this?”
Then take the action that would move you if you were the other persons
2. Think: What is the human way to handle this?People use different approaches to leadership situations. One approach is to assume the position of a dictator. – Makes all decision without consulting those affected. He refuses to hear his subordinates’ side of a question because down deep perhaps, he’s afraid the subordinate might be right and this would cause him to lose face. Dictators don’t last long. Employee may fake loyalty for a while but unrest soon develops. Second leadership technique is the cold, mechanical. The fellow using this approach handles everything exactly according to the book. He doesn’t recognize hat every rule or policy or plan is only a guide for the usual cases. This would-be leader treats human beings as machines. Third person who rise to tremendous leadership height use a “Being Human.”You are a human being, I respect you, I’m here to help you in every way I can. “Whoever is under a man’s power is under his protection, too.” Anybody can hire a man. But the test of leadership is how one handles the dismissal.
Two ways to use the be-human approach to make you a better leader:
First. Each time you face a difficult matter involving people, ask yourself, ”What is the human way to handle this?”. Avoid sarcasm, avoid being cynical, avoid taking people down a peg or two. Avoid putting others in their place. Ask “what is the human way to deal with people?” It always pays-sometimes sooner, sometime later. But it always pays
Second. To let your action show you put people first. Show interest in your subordinates off the job accomplishments, treat everyone with dignity. Remind yourself that the primary purpose in life is to enjoy it. As a general rule, the more interest you show in a person, the more he will produce for you, and this what carries you forward to greater success. Practice praising people. Rub people the right way.
3. Think Progress, Believe in Progress, Push for Progress.Promotion in all fields go to individual who believe in-and push for progress. Develop a forward look.
Two special things you can do to develop your progressive outlook.
Think improvement in everything you do.
Think high standards in everything you do.
Believe in-and push for progress, and you’ll be a leader. Remember this: When you take over the leadership of a group, the persons in that group immediately begin to adjust themselves to the standard you set. This is most noticeable during the first few weeks. Their big concern is to clue you in, zero you in, find out what you expect of them. They watch every move you make. They think, How does he want it done? What does it take to please him? What will he say if I do this or that? Once they know, they act accordingly. Check the example you set. Use this ever-accurate as a guide: “What kind of world would this world be, if everyone in it were just like me? In similar fashion, ask yourself, What kind of club, community, school, church would it be if everyone in it acted like you. Think, talk, act, live the way you want your subordinates to think, talk, act, live - and they will. Over a period of time, subordinates tend to become carbon copies of their chief. The simplest way to get high-level performance is to be sure the master copy is worth duplicating.
Am I a Progress thinker? Checklist:
A. Do I think progressively toward my work?
Do I appraise my work with the “how can we do it better?” attitude?
Do I praise my company, the people in it, and the products it sells at every possibleopportunity?
Are my personal standards with reference to the quantity and quality of my output higher now than three or six months ago?
Am I setting an excellent example for my subordinates, associates and others I work with?
B. Do I think progressively toward my family?
1. Is my family happier today than it was three or six months ago?
2. Am I following a plan to improve my family’s standard of living?
3. Does my family have an ample variety of stimulating activities outside the home?
4. Do I set an example of a progressive, a supporter of progress for my children?
C. Do I think progressively toward myself?
Can I honestly say I am a more valuable person today than three or six months ago?
Am I following an organized self-improvement program to increase my value to others?
Do I have a forward - looking goals for at least five years in the future?
Am I a booster in every organization or group to which I belong?
D. Do I think progressively toward my community?
Have I done anything in the past six months that I honestly feel has improved my community?
Do I boost worthwhile community projects rather than object, criticize or complain?
Have I ever taken the lead in bringing about some worthwhile improvement in my community?
Do I speak well of my neighbors and fellow citizens?
4. Take time out to confer with yourself and tap your supreme thinking power.
Don’t be a Mr. I-can’t-stand-to-be-alone. Successful leaders tap their superpower throughbeing alone. (When Mr. I-can’t-stand-to-be-alone is forced by circumstances to be physically alone, he resorts to television, newspaper, radio, tel., anything that will take over his thinking process for him.) As part of professional development program: Closet ourselves for one hour each day, shut themselves/ourselves off from all distractions and think constructively about anything that come to mind.
Two kind of thinking we can use:
Directed thinking.Review the major problem facing you. In solitude/isolation your mind will study the problem objectively and lead you to the right answer.
Undirected thinking. Just let your mind select what it wishes to think about. It’s very helpful in doing self-evaluation. It helps you get down to the very basic matters like “How can I do better?” What should be my next move? In moment like these your subconscious mind taps your memory bank which in turn feeds your conscious mind. Remember, the main job of the leader is thinking. And the best preparation for leadership is thinking. Spend sometime in managed solitude everyday and think yourself to success.
How to use the Thinking Big in life’s most crucial situations:
There is magic in thinking big but it so easy to forget. When you hit some rough spots, there is danger that your thinking will shrink in size. And when it does, you lose. Brief guides for staying big when you’re tempted to use the small approach:
A.When Little People Try to Drive Your Down, Think Big.
To be sure, there are some people who want you to lose, to experience misfortune, to bereprimanded. But these people can’t hurt you if you’ll remember three things:
You win when you refused to fight petty/unimportant people. Fighting little people reduces you to their size. Stay big.
Expect to be sniped/shorten at. It’s proof you’re growing.
Remind yourself that snipers are psychologically sick. Be big. Feel sorry for them. Think big enough to be immune to the attacks of petty people.
B. When That “I-Haven’t-Got-What-It-Takes” Feeling Creeps Up on You, Think Big.Remember: If you think you are weak, you are. If you think you’re inadequate, you are. If you think you’re second class, you are. Whip/trash that natural tendency to sell yourself short with these tools:
Look important. It helps you think important. How you look on the outside has a lot to do with how you fill on the inside.
Concentrate on your assets, Build a sell-yourself-to-yourself commercial and use it. Learn to supercharge yourself. Know your positive self.
Put other people in proper perspective. The other person is just another human being, so why be afraid of him? Think big enough to see how good you really are!
C. When an Argument or Quarrel Seems Inevitable/foreseeable. Think Big. Successfully resist the temptation to argue and quarrel by:
Asking yourself, “Honestly now, is this thing really important enough to argueabout?”
Reminding yourself, you never gain anything from an argument but you always losesomething.
Think big enough to see that quarrels, arguments, feuds, and fusses will never help you get where you want to go.
D.When You Feel Defeated, Think Big.It is not possible to achieve large success without hardships and setbacks/disappointment/loss/misfortune/defeat. But it is possible to live the rest of your life without defeat. Big thinkers react to setbacks this way:
Regard the setback as a lesson. Learn from it, research it, use it to propel/drive/push you forward, Salvage/recover/save/retrieve something from every setback.
Blend persistence/determination/perseverance with experimentation. Back off and start afresh with a new approach.
Think big enough to see that defeat is a state/condition of mind nothing more.
E.When Romance Starts to Slip, Think Big.Negative, petty, “She’s (He)-unfair-to-me-so-I’ll-get-even” type of thinking slaughters romance, destroys the affection that can be yours. Do this when things aren’t going right in the love department:
Concentrate on the biggest qualities in the person you want to love you. Put little things where they belong. – in second place.
Do something special for your mate and do it often.
Think big enough to find the secret to marital joys.
F. When You Feel Your Progress on the Job is Slowing Down. Think Big. No matter what you do and regardless of your occupation, higher status, higher pay comes from one thing: Increasing the quality and quantity of your output. Do this:
Think, “I can do better”, the best is not unattainable. There is room for doing everything better. Nothing in this world is being done as well as it could be. And when you think, “I can do better” ways to do better will appear, thinking, “I can do better” switches on your creative power. Think big enough to see that if you put service first, money takes care of itself.
In the words of Publilius Syrus:
“A wise man will be master of his mind, A fool will be its slave.”
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To do anything, we must first believe it can be done. Believing something can be done sets the mind in motion to find a way to do it. Example question: How many of you feel that it is possible to eliminate jails within the next thirty years? (This question of eliminating jails is used to make a point). Each of you has come up with reason why we can’t eliminate the need for jails. Now, will you try extra hard for a few minutes to believe we can eliminate jails or assuming we can eliminate jails, how could we begin?,
“Believe it can be done”, “When you believe, your mind finds ways to do."
“When you believe something is impossible, your mind goes to work for you to prove why. But when you believe, really believe, something can be done, your mind goes to work for you and helps you find the ways to do it.”
Belief releases creative powers, disbelief puts the brakes on. You can find ways to like a person if you believe you can. You can discover solutions to personal problems if you believe you can.
“Where there’s a will, there is way”
Top success is reserved for the I-can-do-it-better kind of person. The I-can-do-better philosophy works magic. When you ask yourself, “How can I do better?” your creative power is switch on and ways for doing things better suggest themselves.
Plan a weekly improvement program: Each day before you begin work, devote ten minutes to thinking “How can I do a better job today?” Ask, what can I do today to encourage my employees? What special favor can I do for my customers? How can I increase my personal efficiency?
Capacity is a state of mind. How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do. Prove to myself that how much I can do depends on how much I think I can do.
Convinced it pays to do more and better? If yes, try this two step procedures: 1. Eagerly accept the opportunity to do more. 2. Concentrate on “How can I do more?”
“Big people monopolized the listening, Small people monopolized the talking”
Top-level leaders in all walks of life spend much more time requesting advice than they do in giving it. A leader is a decision making human machine. Ideas of others help to spark our own ideas so our mind is more creative.
Three stage program to strengthen creativity through asking and listening.
Encourage others to talk. In personal conversation or in group meeting. (Ex. Tell me about your experience, or what do you think should be done about…? What do you think is the key point?) These will double-barreled victory, your mind soak up raw material that you can use to produce creative thought.
Test your own views in the forms of questions. Use the what do you think of this suggestion? approach.
Concentrate on what the other person says. Listening means letting what’s said penetrate your mind. Evaluate it, that’s how you collect mind food.
Three ways to harness and develop your ideas:
Don’t let ideas escape. Write them down. Carry a notebook or small card with you and when you get an idea, write it down because memory is weak.
Review your ideas and file to active file.
Cultivate and fertilize your ideas. Make it grow, think about it, tie it to related ideas, then, when time is ripe, put it to work for yourself, job or future.
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